Tuesday, May 30, 2006











May, 1959




47 years ago today, I became a wife. Starry eyed and all of 18 years old. What did I know?? That I was in love. That's about it...LOL. Back then, Memorial Day was May 30th...period. As it happened, that year May 30th was the last Sat. in May. And the only date the church was available til August. And so we married on Memorial Day. Years later Memorial Day was changed to fall on the last weekend in May, period. Other things changed too. The marriage lasted 36 years, not all of them happy. We ended it, and divorced in 1996. We have been able to stay friends, and altho he has remarried, we are able to attend events in our children's lives with out difficulty or pain. Made it much easier for the kids. Do I wish things were different, at times, yes. But for the most part, I've made my peace with it. Regrets? I've had a few, *VBS*, but then, too few to mention. Life goes on. And so do I, *VBS* Have a wonderful May 30th, I'm off to spend the day with DD# 1, and help her get her garden planted.

23 comments:

anne bebbington said...

Finn - good that you can be philosphical about everything and very good that you can all cope with family occasions when you both have to be there - enjoy the gardening :o)

Judy said...

It's odd to me to think of a long term maraiage ending. I guess when you think about getting past a certain point it's like ..once you get there, it's set...solid in a way. Marriages end in the early years or sometimes at 10 or 12 years...but I guess I always had the notion that once you reach some magical period..like 20 years or so...it was "stuck". Now this isn't based on fact, or even realistic thought, just some weird notion that floats through your head.

I am coming up on 24 years in July and I guess it never dawned on me that even after this long something could change or some ONE could change thier mind. So 36 years kind made me go...woooo! Funny how we think huh?

I,m glad YOU are happy!

Judy said...

fingernails and laptops do not mix...arghhh!

cher said...

oh, time with dd#1 and gardening-doesn't get much better than that!
I am sure it's a bittersweet date today..glad though you have found happiness in the present time.

Karen said...

Well, the photo is wonderful; that's a paper moon, isn't it?? Karen

Ann said...

Aww....how bittersweet. But so nice everything is so amicable between you all. I can imagine how much that helps when it comes to family events. And I'm sure the kids appreciate it. Here's a special hug for you on a special day. (((((((Finn)))))))

Peggy said...

Its so nice you are friends and the kids can relax around both their parents. I know you worked hard to make it that way cause thats just who you are!

Darcie said...

Cheers to you Finn, for making lemonade our of your lemons!

Laurie said...

Finn,
You totally have your SH#@ together! I can't imagine the adjustment of being a wife for that many years to being single! You do it well! OH, the pic...ROFL...love it!
Hugs
Laurie

ForestJane said...

I like the plaid pants best of all... :)

It's nice that you have both a pleasant relationship now and some good memories along with the bad.

Lily said...

Finn where do I start with that photo? It's FANTASTIC!!

Sorry that the weekend brings back some unhappy memories but glad that most of them are good :)

You sure are making the most of life now :)

Carolyn said...

Finn, what a wonderful story. Life goes on and you've made the best of it...you seem to love where you are right now. Enjoy the time with your daughter and her garden...these times are precious.
Carolyn

Screen Door said...

I love the picture...Mark Twain says, "It's not the things you do that you regret, it's the things you don't..." Even a marriage that ends makes up part of what you are today...You don't sound bitter...
Take care...
Melanie

Linda_J said...

what babies you both look in that picture. Decisions made at 18 may no longer hold 36 years later and that is understandable. You learn, you grow over time. Still, it WAS your anniversary for long time so how could you not remember.

Good that you can get along for the sake of the kids and grandkids because your paths continue to cross even if you might prefer that they didn't.

DJ and I will never get to 36 since we married in 99--time will run out. We have been together as a couple since 78 though--should count for something, VBG.

Dawn said...

Look at you! And so like you to accept things and move on! If I were your DD I would have you DO the gardening for me! I hate it!

susan said...

His loss - our gain! You probably wouldn't be blogging or quilting as much if you had to do all that wifey stuff!

Hope you had fun playing in the dirt and had a good holiday weekend despite the memories.

Jeanne said...

{{A special hug}} for special memories.
Jeanne

Abandoned in Pasadena said...

My first marriage ended after 30 years also and we remained friends until his death. It's much better for the kids that way...they don't have to make any choices of any kind.

I still remember my anniversary as you do and I sometimes still sign the wrong last name on checks and occasionally give my name out wrong too. Habit, I guess.

Thanks for sharing all these little intimate details of your life...we are always here to listen and be your friend.

Loved the picture.

Laura said...

Finn - I love your attitude!

Patty said...

you had me singing there for a bit, regrets Ive had a few ......
You were so young looking, well you were young, just a baby really.
Life is full of events, we choose what heading we file the events under.

Maggie Ann said...

What a great picture! Memories are special and you are a strong and loving person. *hugs* from Maggie Ann

Tropical Screamer said...

Hugs and purrs from Tigger and I.

Darilyn

Holly said...

I love reading about the pieces from your past. Thanks for being so transparent.