and memories. Memory is a funny thing. Not in the ha-ha sense, but in that our minds alter our perception of what "was". The scary monster, the defeat, the victory...all soooo much bigger or worse in our memory than in reality. And the same with good memories. They remain just that, good...maybe even excellent, but our minds have embellish them to fit our needs. I was reminded of that last week when I posted the picture of Christmas 1951. A modest size tree, but my younger sister remembers it as being 15 feet tall..*S*. You get my point. A quilter friend of mine, and one who has had a book published by That Patchwork Place, Carol Fure, did a series of quilts about summers spent on her grandparents farm. I have really excellent notes from the lecture she gave at our guild meeting, but those are not at hand today. There were several quilts in the series, but the one I remember was a pattern called "Crosses And Losses". She did it in blues and gold. The conclusion she had drawn was that our memories are neither as good(gold)nor as bad(blue) as we remember.And maybe for me, it stayed in my head because it's how it is with almost everything....somewhere in between.
As with many children, I can't say my childhood was ideal, or magical or even always fun. I fell into a category of kids who are "too old for their years", the ones with a slightly "too adult" view of life. The normal magic of imagination isn't there. At least not as a plan of action. I created the magic I needed. I found it inside my head and in words. In the angle of sunshine slanting through young green leaves and making patterns on the water. In the way the wind whips the snow in tiny tornadoes, and in the endlessly fascinating blinks of the fireflies(or lightening bugs as we called them). I found magic everywhere, but not in the hands of society or my parents.
What YOU remember is truly YOUR gift from the Universe, chances are, it was neither as good, nor as bad as you remember. And there is nothing wrong with that. It's personal. It's yours. Whether it's a gift or a lesson, it's what you do with it that matters.
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11 comments:
Finn, as always you hit the nail on the head. My little sis and I had an argument this weekend over a remembrance. Her recollection was totally different than Mine. Since I am older, I think mine is closer to what actually happened. But as you said, it's what you do with these memories.
Oh, too bad I fear that it was worse that my memory will allow me to remember...
But is interesting how the different points of view in the same story remember the events... (Just like your example of that same Christmas tree... I wonder how your parents would have remembered it, if at all.)
I love the analogy of the gold "good" and the "blue" bad. I think I often try to focus on the "gold" memories as it helps me maintain a more postive outlook on life.
Loved this post...
Finn,
Your writing is wonderful...always as I read it, my head is nodding. Look forward to seeing my brother at Christmas when we will laugh and compare memories. Some memories are so clear to me and then some I can't remember at all but are very real to him.
Same with our children ...what DH and I thought were very impressive family events, the kids cannot remember.
Wonder what my grandson will remember about Nana? (!)
Wonderfully put Ms. Finn!!!
Finn you have such a wonderful way with words...very well put...thank you for encouraging me to ponder memories tonight.
I couldn't agree with you more. I often travel through my memories at sleep-time and I consider them my personal and unique biography. Thanks for a thought-provoking post!
Oh, Finn---I am so happy that I finally had the time to read all your recent posts. You write so beautifully, you know. I've missed you while I was on deadline.
I certainly hope that your eye situation has abated to something near your "normal" such as that is. Your face NOT looking like beefsteak would be a gigantic improvement.
Time has a way of softening what may have been harsh or stark, leaving our mind's eye to see a comfortable patina on events in the past and takes us back to a place and time we can fondly remember whether it's a giant Christmas tree or lightening bugs lighting up the summer night. Finn, I love the way you write -- you have such a way to make me think about how I honestly view my world. You're the bees knees *s*
Hugs,
Libby
Nice philosophy there, Finn. :)
Great writing skill.
Loved this post too.
I sometimes think a troubled childhood has made me disregard other people's faults a lot more than perhaps I would have.
It is sometimes disconcerting to be reminded of something from a sad perspective, when I have been remembering it with pleasure, from an altogether different view.
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