Graduation Day...plus 49

It's that odd time of year, for me, emotionally. The peaks one hits in life, the milestones, the memories. Quite of few of those are connected to today and tomorrow. Memory is such an odd creature, almost a shadow being, rather than anything tangible. Nothing truly distinctive, even our photos only show one
dimention of what we consider 'reality'. For me, gradution came on May 29th, 1958. I was happy to see it come, I'd had enough of the 'system', altho I was in no way ready for the world. Of course I thought I was...LOL. I graduated near the end of the line to march in, me with an 'S' last name.....155 graduates... 7 p.m. on a balmy early summer night. The old school(pictured here)not large enough to hold us and our families. Chi Hi...my alma mater, ready for destruction in the summer months that followed. The class of 1958, the last that would call this building theirs. I wish I had thought to go and snap a picture, but I didn't. Luckily I have this note card, that was part of our graduation package, meant for 'thank you' notes. We graduated outdoors at our local fairground. Luckily our town hosted the Northern WI Distric Fair each year, and was large and had a grandstand to hold guests and lots of parking. We marched across the horse race track to take our places on the stage. The over head lights that were a part of our carnival atmospher of 'fair time' shone brightly, and bugs buzzed and droned and dropped on the bleachers. I wish I could tell you I remember everything that happened, but I can't, because I don't, almost nothing except arriving at the fairgrounds and finding my cap and gown. What I DO remember, is being required to 'stay' at my hospital job til my normal quitting time of 6:30. A mad dash to my mom's car, a hasty trip across town to don my white dress and shoes, and a race back to the fair ground(across town), trying to make the line-up before the 7 p.m. processional.
Mostly I was furious! Furious at the world for putting me in that position, furious with the nun I worked for, at her lack of empathy for my situation, just plain furious at everything! Needless to say, rage tends to spoil things, and is a useless emotion anyway....much ado about something that can't be changed.
There were no graduation parties in my circle of friends back in 1958, and we weren't a family of close knit ties. My parents, 2 sisters, and my beloved Grandma Lottie attended. And that was that. No coffee and cake, no party, some sort of gift from my parents that I've forgotten, probably luggage. I was invited to a party out by our Lake Wissota, but my Mom wouldn't let me use the car. So I fumed instead. Finally went to bed, and the next day began the rest of my life. Back to work at the hospital for the summer. Short lived tho, as I had a mental/emotional collapse in mid June. That ended my summer working and any spare money for college in Sept. By Sept it was a 3 ring battle with my family dr. to relent and let me begin college. He thought I was mentally and emotionally unstable....LOL(probably no more so than any trapped animal) wonder how he got that impression...??*VBG* I did begin college on schedule, but I can't say it was all that I hoped it would be. It was (almost) another place where I had difficulty fitting in. Wonder how that would have worked out if I hadn't met my future DH there at college in early October? I stayed two quarters and then dropped out(at 18) to work and prepare to be married.
That clever part of my life's work took place on May 30th, 1959. In one year and one day, I had managed to go from a starry eyed(?) 17 yr. old to a semi-cynical married lady of 18. Pretty good work, huh??? In reality, the marriage provided the same type of escape from my family that graduation and college had provided. Still.... a couple of peaks, milestones, times of memory making, no hint of valleys anywhere on the horizon.
I'm a huge fan of Sir Anthony Hopkins. Even in the disturbing movie 'Silence Of The Lambs', I find him brillant and an enmiga. The first time I saw 'Shadowlands' I adopted the word for my own. If you find a word that speaks to you, and you are a 'word' person, you take it with you...forever. So many places in life where the sun never quite makes it, the dark, shadowy places. Not the underworld, or the depths, but the section that leads to them, where you leave the sunshine of meadowlands and enter a place that is darker, perhaps greener, quiet in an erry way, where there might be a sliver of sunshine but very well filtered.....for me, it is called Shadowlands. It's a place where you find the memories that are not comfortable nor suitable, in the meadows of sunshine and flowers. And the choice is YOURS, you don't have to know about, or have any places of shadow unless you want them. It works out perfectly...*VBS*