Sunday, September 16, 2007

My Father's Life.....

nothing quilty on my mind today...the gentle September winds carry my thoughts down and across the meadow. Up the road and along the trail...towards where the tall Jack Pines grow....Sometimes, having the next generation darting about my feet only makes me aware of how much slower I have gotten. And sometimes, it starts me thinking about the 'patterns' in life. Over the months I've blogged, I've never written much about my Father or his family. The relationship wasn't close in miles or comfort level. We, as a family, trekked north to Jack Pine country about once, maybe twice a year to see my paternal grandmother. I don't think she traveled our way other than for a funeral. I have pictures of her, that I meant to share with this post, but they elude me today. And what I have been thinking about since yesterday, is the visit by my SON and his SONS. Of course my father had no sons to take home to his mother, but 3 daughters instead. But I don't think its gender related. It had to do with the 'visiting'..and whether that happens more with one spouse than the other. And I would say in my experience, "yes". Do daughters take their children to see 'his' parents as much as 'hers'? I can't answer that because my DDs don't have children. I was guilty of taking my kids to see 'his' parents more than mine, but mostly because they were still 'a family', and my Dad was widowed. Not much of a reason.
With my oldest son, his 3 boys see much, much more of 'her' parents than they do of me. I'm not thrilled about it, but it's not something I can changed. Distance in miles is a factor, but it's more than that I think. Second son lives even futher away with his 4 boys, and I have little clue about grandparents, as the boys have more than one mom...there are several Grandma's involved there.
Would I have spent more time with my mom, had she lived, than I did with his 'mom', probably....I wish I could see that it could be any other way, but I don't. I think the truth(at least for me) is that we 'go home',not just as in the song at Christmas time...but when we can. We seek the level of love, comfort, and sharing that we have known as children, and mosty that means "mom".
I am so recently blessed to have the two little 'guys' who were here yesterday living only 25 minutes away(at least on every other weekend). That's only been a year, after 6 years of once or twice a year visits during the marriage. I get kind of giddy if I'm not careful, getting to do all the normal grandma stuff...LOL
Carpet cleaners coming tomorrow, and then I'll be back with more quilty stuff...*VBS* Hugs all, Finn

6 comments:

Libby said...

We always visited my mom more . . . or it would seem that way on the surface. Mom was alone - so we stayed in her home on visits. The in-laws were about 10 miles away, so we always spent time with them - just not overnights. They still had 3 kids at home so it made sense to not add to the crowd.
Even with that I do believe the saying - A son is a son 'til he takes a wife. A daughter is a daughter all of her life.

cher said...

most of us daughters tend to feel closer to our moms than our mils-however I thought Steph had children-guess I was mistaken.

Quilt Pixie said...

Interesting reflections... When I was married we spent little time with either set of parents, though you're right, I was closer to my family (I "got them"... Because I was the one who created the ideas that where chosen between re how to spend our holidays/leisure time my family probably did show up on more often...

meggie said...

Though we lived close to my Mil & Fil, I never felt comfortable with my Mil. I loved the time my mother got to spend with us, & always regretted she didn't have the chance to know my children as well as she would have liked. I do think Daughters tend to prefer their own family.

Quilt Memories said...

A daughter is a daughter all her life.... SOOOO TRUE!!! A son's a son till he takes a wife. Unfortunately (in our case ) that too is soooo true!
Our son and DIL live about 45 min. away, but go to the church on the next corner from our house. We see him (sometime) at Thanksgiving (not her) and they do come by for an hour or so on Christmas. Our daughter comes by pretty often and we talk on the phone about ever day ( I seldom talk to son). I do miss him so very badly, but over the years have come to realize there is no way to "fix" things. So I endure. I do hope before I die that he will again be truly our "son". Enough said!

Anonymous said...

That pic of you and your dad is soo sweet.

Annie
: )