Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Crossroads....

How often we hit them,we make a decision and move on. Mostly it's easy. Occasionally it is unexpected, and sometimes, it's just plain hard. I find myself at the latter, in an unexpected place...not one of my choosing, but a result of former decisions, none the less. 
I like the picture I've chosen to use tonight...I've always thought of it as a 'road less traveled', and that appeals to me. Or should that read "appealed"?Maybe what I have seen as a "road less traveled" is actually a "dead end".
After days(and weeks) of restlessness and discontentment, I realized tonight that I just plain DON'T LIKE MY LIFE anymore. I have to admit it shocked even me. I've been quite content with my small life, my simple, lowkey way of being in the world. That part hasn't changed, so maybe it's the things around me that have changed? Maybe I'm being pulled in too many directions? Or maybe lacking in direction at all? I don't know. I just know it's really NOT ok right now. And having realized that, I need to do something about it, and I am going to. All you get from treading water is tired legs. If you're doing something(regardless of how long you've done it)and it's not working, then do something else! Even if you don't have a plan, move confidently in a different direction and look for what beckons you to follow.
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34 comments:

Betweens said...

the first step Finn is recognizing these things and having the ability and strength to change it. Your road is more travelled than you think the thing is you are never on your own...that first step will put you on a run enjoy the ride. It will only get better

Julie in the Barn said...

Change can be a good thing. That might just be the spark you need to bannish the doldrums and give you new enthusiasm. I'll be watching to see what you find on the next road you take. I'm sure there is something exciting around the next bend!

Screen Door said...

Every day you get a new shot at it. Find out what you don't like about it and take small steps to begin that change....I know there's good in that life that others would miss...

True Blue Nana said...

I won't say I enjoyed your post but I appreciate your candor. I agree with you that to move in some direction is preferable to staying in one place and being uncertain. Good luck to you in whatever decision you make.

Amelia said...

Now with that being said - what are your plans?
1. a trip.
2. get a job
3. take up hula dancing
4.a new man in your life
5. blean your hair a bright blonde
6.write your autobiogrlaphy
7. make a new quilt

Let us know if any or none of these are in your future.

Love ya,

Amelia

Gail said...

I have similar feelings, a result of too much free time? Sometimes that is what I think. Mostly, I think it's the desire to not fritter my time away while I wait for time to die. It sounds morbid but I think it would be easy to fall into that trap. I have begun to take charge again and to question every thing I do judging it against the ruler of meaningfulness. It only works part of the time, sigh. I intend to keep trying, I hope you do as well. I was very glad to see you post again, I've missed you, Finn.

Angie said...

Oh Finn, I know that feeling so well, and it's truly startling to realize that. But you are 'on the right path' :) so just jump in with both feet---life is truly too short to keep 'treading'---that's why I always eat dessert first. :D Cheering you and Ebby on to new adventures!!!! :D Hugs, dear friend!

julieQ said...

Hi Finnie: I hope and pray that you find your unique direction for your life and make it just what you want. You are an amazing quilter and friend and deserve the best that life can bring. Many hugs!

J said...

Wow...really appreciate that you shared your honest assessment of your life. Really hit home with me, since I've hit the same 'dead end' and have been searching for that something that will reinvigorate my life. I've been on my journey for a while, have hit some snags and some road blocks, and have been trying to not let it deter me from my goal...even tho that goal may shift a bit before I'm done. "...move confidently in a different direction and look for what beckons you to follow" True inspiration! Wishing for you an incredible journey. Thank you.

*karendianne. said...

Oh Finn, I wish I could explain to you how much your words resonate and that I understand! I hear you, this makes sense and, well... Life is hard and change is constant and the sooner we face up to the fact the better off we'll be. There's a lot of joy, too, but the truth of the matter is --- we have to do that. All of it. Alone. And it's difficult and by recognizing where you're at you're already moving into the space where you need to be.

Finally, I thank you for sharing because while I've just said it's "Alone" - you're not Alone. I, too, feel the struggle in my own little quiet life.

Warmly and with kindness - as well as by your side, *karendianne.

Susan said...

Hi Finn,

It pulls at my heartstrings to read this, I wish I was there to give you a big HUG! But it also sounds like you have worked out something in your mind and are now ready to JUST DO IT! I hope all works out well for you, I will be thinking of you. Wish you lived next door, we could go for a walk - getting outside always makes me feel better, puts things into a much better perspective, the big sky and fresh air makes problems seem small by comparison. Love, Susan

AnnieO said...

Wishing you all the best in your quest to change your situation. You can use all you know about your quiet little life to change it up and make it meaningful for you. We will be here encouraging every step!

paula, the quilter said...

I read your post and realized that I have found my direction in being able to get up every morning and go somewhere, anywhere. It seems that the days that I stay in one place are the days I end up questioning my life. Am I trying to run away or am I just in need of socialization? I hope you find your path, friend. OOXXOO

Auntie Em said...

Put me in the category of people who would like to reach through the computer and give you a big hug. Hope you work out what is best for you to do.

Jeanne said...

Finn, I often have the same feelings, but usually chalk it up to having too many irons in the fire. I hope you find a new direction that brings you happiness.

Chris said...

Hi Finn, I hope you find firm ground under the path you choose. If you don't, I know you have many hands around you to help you back up. I'll say a little prayer for you and send you on your way.

Gypsy Quilter said...

What can we do to help? Do you need a gift card to help with groceries? Do you need help moving anywhere? Do you need more fabric? I think I may have a piece or 2 I can share, LOL. Let us know. We care and we're here for you.

Sara said...

Thanks for your post, Finn! Needed to hear that you are still alive and kickin', though not so happy with your life.

I second the HUG motion. Sending one right now.
I second the OUTDOORS motion. Even walking one block out and one block back works for me, even when it is raining. Need that extra fresh oxygen.

For me it also helps to have some appointment or habit I HAVE to keep each day--a reason to get up, get dressed, and get out the door. Exercise class twice a week, meet a friend for breakfast, church. . . .whatever.

We are pulling for you to find the joy again.

Magpie Sue said...

Wow, that's a serious realization. I hope you'll keep us informed as to the decsions you make along the way, quilt-related or not!

Did you at least have a pleasant Mother's Day? I thought about you and wished one for you, just didn't get around to make it known.

Muddling Through said...

The enemy will always try to steal your joy, because that's where your strength is. You've made a good start to get it back. Keep it up! I'm praying for you.
~Elaine

Judy S. said...

Hugs, Finn. There are lots of folks thinking of you and wishing you the very best.....Take care.

Michele's Quilting Journey said...

With you...always, each corner, each turn.

Stephanie D. said...

I've had some similar feelings lately and although I do work outside the home, and jealously guard my time off, I was getting a little dissatisfied with my life. My diagnosis? Too much Farmville.

It makes me think I'm doing something, and interacting with cyberfriends, but really, I'm not accomplishing anything at all. I'm way less productive and before I realize it, 2 hours have gone by doing that stupid addictive game, and then I'm discontented because there's nothing to show for it.
Going away on vacation where I couldn't play it on the mini-computer, was a real eye-opener. I think I'm addicted.

Hope you find what you're looking for!

ROZ said...

Finn, I love you. You helped me so much with your "orphan Train" thing--pitching all my failed quilting attempts in together and making something out of nothing. This week my family rallied around and helped me to be getting through a tough time. And a wonderful social worker counselled me. You have a friend here
Roz

Sew Create It - Jane said...

Well done you identifying that you need a change. Change is hard, but it will be so refreshing to get that zest for life back into swing. Good Luck!!

Jeanne said...

I'll be keeping you in my thoughts and cheering for you.
Jeanne

McIrish Annie said...

Life us a journey. Sounds like you are ready to travel further down that road. We are here to help if you need it.

Quiltluver said...

Sending you a big hug as well. Hope that things change for the better for you in whatever you decide. Take care.

scrappy quilter said...

Dear friend I can so relate to this post. And so began the long journey a few months ago for me to make some changes and spread my wings. The journey isn't over yet, however I'm starting to enjoy life again. You're in my thoughts as you travel a new way. Hugs and love

Myra said...

Each person's journey has many different twists and turns and different paths to choose from... I hope you find which path is right for you next Finn... My thoughts are with you...
Take care!

knitwit said...

L know exactly how you feel, I hope you find a new direction and the strength to follow it. Recognising that things need to change is a large first step.
Hugs Ruth

knitwit said...

I know exactly how you are feeling. I hope you find a new direction for your life and the strength to follow it. Recognising that change is needed is a large first step.
Hugs Ruth

Lynn Dykstra said...

It is interesting how the need to reassess comes up over and over in our lives.

Elaine Adair said...

Hey girl, I 'found' you again. Not sure how I lost you but I DID miss you and your quilting style.

Best wishes for decisions, solutions, etc. "If you always do, what you've always done, you'll always have what you already got."

I'm a great believe in making some changes, big or small, just DO it. You might find you don't like ANY change and then you'll go back to your 'regular' life, finding it's not no bad after all.